The needed, the expedient

I can't do this. It's not much more complicated than that.

Why do you bring all these things to my mind, if I can't do them all? If I know I'll never get to all of them, doesn't it make more sense for you not to point them out to me? Why do you let me thrash these things around and around in my brain, if I don't have enough minutes in the day to take them on?

But, I just realized, maybe you don't.

Point them all out.

What are you protecting me from that I can't even imagine?

Concrete Obedience

I hit it again, I knock it down, I roll it on it's back.
And it's up again.

This continual struggle over and over and over.  I yield my will, and within minutes I take it back. Within minutes I'm wrestling, wrestling, wrestling it back down to the floor.

Will this ever stop? Why won't my body relax, surrender to a calming touch that I know is good?  Stop wriggling, stop resisting that Hand that only tries to soothe me, rock me, calm me.

I want what I want--and I want what He wants.  Oh wretched man!

What is this spite within me that refuses to believe, to accept, that grasping for what I want has yet to prove successful?  I am a great dreamer of ideas, but I have no follow through. When it comes to carrying on, my resolve crumbles and vanishes right before my eyes. It changes shape and exits--like a breeze out the door.

I long with everything that is within me to come to a place where my wishes to do right, can translate into action.

Concrete Obedience.

Remembering, knowing, what has happened all the other times.

And knowing what and who has always brought me true success.

Trusting Again

The thing you want me to trust you for this time, is a big one.  We just finished one of these exercises, remember? I thought we'd have ourselves a break for a little while. Apparently, that's not the case.

I just trusted you for what I thought was impossible.  Certainly for what I knew was impossible in my own strength.  I learned a lot from that, and  from what we went through together.

Yet, here I am again. 

The thing is too big this time. It's too complicated.  Surely I can't expect you to create something from nothing, can I?

Oh, wait.  That is what you do. That, in essence, is your job description.  Creator.

The Creator and the I AM.

I cast my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.
The Maker.
Of heaven and earth.
 I cast my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.
The Maker
Of heaven and earth.

Help me cross this huge gulf of disbelief and make it to the side where help lives.
And the Source of help is a kind and generous king.